When Not To Count On Accountability

Hi friends! Yippeee, it’s HUMP DAY! Before I introduce today’s topic, I want to give a couple of #inreallife shouts:

I am so grateful for your love, support, prayers, and tenderness to me over the last week.  You have been overwhelmingly attentive and kind over the past year, and I have truly felt your warmth this month.  And #socialmedia can be an extentsion of real life, and you know, the virtual hugs and love are amazingly awesome too! So thank you.  

 A few of you may recognize that my blog schedule has been off and well, we shall call that #inreallife happening. ( + this writer girl has been fighting something fierce!) Thankfully on the mend and grateful to God and doctors ANND friends who leave Fresh Market on your doorstep! I mean come on!!! As if I could love my community more?!!! 

 Thanks for continuing to be part of this conversation, and I loved finally sharing Convos2Connect Episode 7 and introducing you to Chelsia.  In case you missed it, you can catch up here.  Along with an update on the future of the 'beta blogcast!'

Now, on to some MID WEEK MOTIVATION and today's NEW POST! 

As you hopefully know, my reason for continuing and expanding this space is YOU.   My desire is that this space is somewhere that you will want to continue coming back to because my purpose is for you and me…together.  The conversation began with friends and so that is why I consider and call you all friends.  Not “followers”—yuck or “readers” even.  Plus, “readers” feels very formal, and while I adore writing, I am not claiming or attempting to be a Pulitzer Prize winning author.  Let’s be clear.  I will leave those pursuits to my much more intelligent and forward thinking bookish babes, literature ladies, and lovers of linguistics friends.  I am so very happy that there is a space for basic bit**es like me. <---- (please note my tongue in check tone!) Life is too short to be too serious and not laugh when something is so spot on like that or even this ole favorite of mine

All that to say, I am intentional and purposeful in the development of this blog.  I do not invite or accept guests posts regularly, because I want to respect your time and motivation for coming to my site.  As the conversation continues, I have talked more with you about the importance of accountability in my life.  And I love hearing from you about it too.  When I realized that Polly Monson had a lot to add to this space and topic, I knew I wanted to invite her to post here. 

Meet Polly: 


Polly Monson M.S., NASM, PN1 graduated from Clemson University with a double BA in Communications and Performing Arts. She recently earned her Master of Science in Communication from New York University. Accredited with the National Academy of Sports Medicine, Polly has trained and coached in several major cities including Chicago, Washington, D.C., Madrid, Spain, and New York. Polly primarily focuses on motivational weight loss programs for women and tools for developing a stable healthy lifestyle. In addition to her background in sports medicine, Polly is also a certified nutritionist with Precision Nutrition. Polly's expertise as a life coach comes from a combination of her ten year experience in the health and wellness field combined with her education in communication. 

Polly has heart for encouraging others, and her spirit is still as sweet as it was when I first met her waaaaay back in the Brooks Center of the Clemson Theatre Department.  {any South Pacific cast members out there?!}   

Take a few minutes today and soak in the knowledge she is sharing today: 

When Not To Count On Accountability

{Guest Contributor}  Polly Monson

Anytime clients thank me for helping them to achieve their goals, my response is always the same.
" You did the work, not me!" 
It was their strength and their self-determination that brought them to their end goal. I am only a guide, an external source of accountability.
There are two different types of accountability, external and internal.  Supportive friends, family, trainers, coaches, therapists, and task-oriented technology are all examples of external accountability. Your best friend who becomes your 6 a.m. running buddy, your life coach who helps you figure out the next career move, and your Fitbit that tells you how many miles you have left to run are all examples of external accountability.
Many studies show the benefits in finding outside support towards helping you meet your goals. However this tactic can lead to short-term results when you let those same external factors dictate your actions rather than guide them. 
 Internal accountability (also known as self-accountability) is a process that is harder to define and typically overlooked.   Establishing this first can ease and stabilize your journey towards growth and change and help you to stay mindful of your actions. 
These are some helpful first steps towards forming self-accountability.    
1.    Believe you can make the change. Ask yourself, “do you believe you have the power within you to change?”  Before the goals can be formed and tactics planned, it is important to give yourself the possibility of change. The key word in that sentence is "possibility." Most of us have come to learn that "certainties" are rarely found on life's journey. However, that doesn't have to stop us from believing in possibilities.

2.    Take Responsibility. An important thing to do before thinking about the changes you want to make is to take a moment and think about past choices that have lead you to this point and take responsibility for those choices. It is crucial to try and do this on your own before seeking additional help. Nobody knows you better than you!  The key is to not to confuse self-exploration with self pity, which brings me to my next step…

3.    Forgive yourself. We could all use a little more peace in our day. Our lives are full of stressors, some controllable and some not. Too much of our energy is put into regret and self-judgment of past choices, leaving little room to focus on the things we want to do and have accomplished. Forgive yourself. Don’t waste anymore time focusing on what you haven't done and start to focus on what you want to do.  

4.    Make A List. Now that you have taken the time to focus and forgive past choices, you are ready to focus on your present and your future.  Start to think of the things you want.  Make a list. This could be anything from weight loss to finding a new job. Picture a perfect day for you and write down what you see. These are your goals.

5.    Explore. Now that you have your list, you are ready to start exploring options on how to accomplish those goals. This is where external accountability options come into play. You want to get healthy so you hire a personal trainer, or you want to change career paths so you find a life coach to help you get organized.  
It’s easy to skip the first four steps. Why waste the time? You know what you want to fix and you know who can help you fix it, so why not just start? It is these initial steps where you start to build your self-accountability, something that can be lost or never found when placing your accountability too soon into something or someone else. Don’t get me wrong. It's nice to have one less thing to worry about, to have someone else plan the workout or figure out why you're still single. However, it's important to stay mindful in the work you are doing, to check in with yourself on a regular basis to make sure you like the new path you are moving down. Accountability is important because it keeps you heading down the right path; however, it is self-accountability that creates the path.  

Thank you to Polly for sharing your insights and giving us more to chew on! Like what you have seen here and want to know more about Polly and her services?  You can get that TODAY! 

Don't let distance stop you! Polly has clients all over the world. If you are in need of a little life TLC then please visit www.myfitmojo.com for additional information and to sign up for a free 15 minute phone consultation with Polly. Let them help you find your mojo!

More ways to connect with Polly:








I was honored to share a small part of my "mojo" story back in 2013 with Polly's folks.  I am linking back to it today as I reflect on the moutain tops and the valleys.  


The 2103 post was all about my education in food and fitness and today life is about the "reeducation"(not 'mis-education' or I would cue Lauryn Hill about now..heck I'm going to go listen now cause it's in my head and that album is still the jam!!) So we have to practice what we preach, and we have to keep learning and #renewal will happen as we educate and ah ha, "renew the mind!" (shout out to Paul!) Whooop!!!! And so I concur with Ben Rector, "Cause life is not the mountain tops....It's the walking in between..."  

Cheers sweet friends, and have a wonderful Wednesday and may this dear post from Polly be a MID WEEK MOTIVATOR to you! 



and a little bonus or post script for those who may be joining the blog today from waaaay back...check out this fun photo Polly(PJ as we know her) and best friend, Emily!!!  I so love knowing that these two ultra talented and dear stage mates from Clemson are still best friends today!!!!! Fierce women from way back!